Every year, the holidays come and go and suddenly we find
ourselves back at our desks
crying over the disasters we left here back in December.
But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel this year in the form of a tall,
dark and handsome man. Bachelor Ben is back, ladies and gentlemen, which means
the blog is back, too. Your Christmas wish is my command.
Last season around this time, I was having a conversation
with my friend and viewing partner, Mary, about the pictures that ABC posted of
the bachelors on Kaitlyn’s season. I was of course scouring through them on the
day of the premiere and remember DISTINCTLY having serious feels for Ben even
then. Those weird headshots are usually not indicative of how attractive or fucking
weird awful they turn out to be, but his was spot-on from day one. I love
me some Ben.
So I got to thinking this year that I should probably record
some of my pre-premiere opinions on the blog so we can go back and laugh later
throughout the season. I have a feeling this season won’t be as ridiculous as
others because Ben doesn’t really strike me as a BS kind of guy, but I’m sure
there are some characters in the bunch. Here’s what I see so far:
You can see the ABC bios here:
I’ll start by saying that more than one of these women
answered the question “If you could be anybody for a day” with the correct
answer of Taylor Swift so we are off to a good start. A few of them also made
good jokes, so I like the vibe of this crew so far. Here are some notable observations:
Amber and Becca are both back from previous seasons. You’ll
remember Becca as the beautiful virgin who dodged a huge bullet in the form of
Chris Soules during that finale. And you won’t remember Amber so it’s almost
like you’ll be meeting her for the first time.
Amanda- Only mentioning her because of her name. She’s an
outdoorsy mom who likes nutella. Minus the ombre, we’re off to a good start.
Breanne- Given the option to be any fruit or vegetable, she
picked a carrot and said the best way to get a man’s attention is to smize.
Gives off the vibe of being a strong independent woman…or a closet serial
killer. TBD.
Caila: Free spirit. Great hair. Looks like she’ll be about
half Ben’s height. Says she wants 3 kids because 5 people fit in most cars.
Thinking ahead, Caila.
Twins: That really needs no description.
Izzy: I hope this girl doesn’t turn out to be a queen B
because I kind of want to be her friend. She’s got a cool job and seems laid
back. I’ll be pissed if she turns out to suck.
Jackie: She’s a gerontologist. I spent all the time I would’ve
writing her description googling wtf that is.
P.S. I still don’t know.
I’m skipping Jami because I don’t really care have
much to say.
Jennifer seems adorable. All her fave movies are faves of
mine and she also seems to have a good sense of humor.
Jessica seems like a former soccer player who has a deep
voice and might beat the shit out of Ben.
JoJo- Looks like Isla Fisher (look it up) and mentioned
Taylor Swift so….
Jubilee- Army vet who said her ideal Saturday night was a
manage a trois with her pillow and blanket. So, she’s def getting my add on
instagram.
Lace- Now there’s a nutjob if I’ve ever seen one. Idk what
it is but this girl may very well be under your bed right now so make sure you
check before you turn off the lights.
Laura: Looks like she’s about 17.
LB: A fashion buyer from Oklahoma? I’m intrigued. She just
seems like a down-to-earth gal. She looks like one of our old tour guides,
Gianna, whom I love dearly, so maybe that’s why. If you’re reading this, Hi G!
Lauren B: Love all of her answers. I have this sinking
feeling, though, that Ben likes brunettes and us blondies might not last that
long (yes, I said us).
Lauren H: Seems like an air head.
Lauren R: Enough with the Laurens. But seriously, she seems
cool but I had this “That’s So Raven” moment of her getting sent home on a
one-on-one or two-on-one date. Idk why, but I see a fiery demise for this one.
Leah: Mentioned that skydiving is on her bucket list as well
as flying in a helicopter. You do realize that, in telling them this, you will
never get to do those things on this show. You can only scale a building if you’re
terrified. Rookies.
Maegen and Mandi: Putting them together because of their
name spelling and also because I assume both will be out night one.
Olivia: No lie, I just saw her tiny pic and said “This girl
looks like she works on tv.” I shit you not, she’s a damn news anchor. Do we
remember Amy from a few seasons ago? Who did her news shtick and immediately
got sent home? Yikes.
Rachel you precious unemployed angel. I hope she turns out
sweet because she reminds me of Des. Could she be the next bachelorette?
Shushanna: Country girl turned city chic. But why are her
parents so cruel?
Tiara: Chicken enthusiast.
So based on my very surface-level inspection, I say these five gals will be the ones to watch:
Izzy, JoJo, LB, Rachel & Shushanna
Although I fully reserve the right to change my mind once I
see them tonight. But for now, these are my thoughts. See you all later…
xoxo,
Amanda
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