Bachelor Ben: Week 6

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but this season is finally getting good. Last night was one of those episodes that elicited all the feels. I laughed, I was sad, I was mortified and I was shocked all at the same time. Thank you, ABC, for reminding me of what high school felt like.

I don’t think anyone actually thought Olivia was getting her rose taken away at the opening rose ceremony, but if you did shame on you for being so green. Ben takes her aside to get to the bottom of this scandal; is she the wicked witch everyone says she is?

Ben: It was brought to my attention that you are showing me a different side than how you are with the girls.

Olivia: They all like to paint their nails and do each other’s hair. I like to read and talk about smart things. Like my cankles.

As I look back on it now, I’m thinking it was just a ploy by the producers to add drama and that he definitely wasn’t going to get rid of her riiiight before he had the chance to sequester her on Gilligan’s Island during a 2-on-1! So much cooler than sending her home before a rose ceremony. That is so last week (Hey Jubes!).

Anyway, Jennifer and her hair clip get the boot and it really sucks because I liked her and am bummed she didn’t get a lot of airtime. Maybe we’ll see you on Paradise, girl.

Time to go to the Bahamas and for things to get exponentially weird! First up, we have Caila getting the one-on-one which we didn’t see much of because Leah was having the first of many breakdowns  back at the hotel.

Leah: Leah is just as cute as Caila. Leah is just as smart as Caila. People totally like Leah just as much as they like Caila. We should totally just stab CAILA!

Eventually, Caila and Ben are having dinner and talking about whether or not Caila loves Ben. Caila is slightly taken back by this, mostly because they’ve known each other for 5 weeks. Ben wants her to be vulnerable, and Caila asks how she is supposed to be vulnerable on the spot. That’s not really how vulnerability works, tbh. She tells him she thinks she loves him, but doesn’t want to hurt him. Most people would be pretty cool with that response week 5, but not Ben because he clearly is feeeeeling our girl Caila and was hoping she was going to be able to validate his feelings through her own. Through some strange twist of fate, Ben is able to understand Caila and give her the rose. Good, because we didn’t know wtf homegirl was saying through most of it.

This group date card is unlike any other because it determines who is going on the 2-on-1 date of death. Sighs of relief pour out of the women as their names are called and we find that Emily and Olivia are the chosen gladiators fighting to the death on the next date. That’s gonna be hella awkward, right?

Not nearly as awkward as swimming with aqua pigs! I found the whole pig scenario to be kind of hilarious and watching the women, Becca in particular, miserably flee from them in the water majorly entertaining. Once that excitement had ended, though, Ben took Lauren B. aside and it became an icy beach—quick. The disheveled women watched, side-eyed, as Ben and Lauren B. talked and joked in the water in plain sight of the rest. Leah in particular is struggling with this and decides it’s in her best interest to give Ben the cold shoulder when he tries to talk to her later. He begs her to just try to enjoy the day because he’s def sending her home later and he doesn’t want it to be awkward in the meantime is a nice guy. She obliges, mascara everywhere, and shuffles away to concoct a busted plan to get Ben’s attention.

At the after party, the thunder is bumpin’ and all these ladies are feeling like it’s now or never to express their inner turmoil. First up is Becca in her black leather skirt who confesses that it sucks to watch him love on Lauren B. so much but it does show her that she actually cares a lot about him. Ben is annoyed by this, I can tell, because he’s basically asking Becca what his response should be to that statement. The robot doesn’t know, so they just make out instead. Next up is Leah, who decides her best option is to tell Ben that Lauren B. isn’t who he thinks she is. This would’ve been an amazing plot twist if, in fact, Lauren B. was actually a fraud. She’s not, though, and I think Ben knows this. Ironically, while this is all happening, Lauren B. comes in to steal Ben away and Leah gets up, tail between her legs, and runs away.

Now Ben is telling Lauren B. that somebody blew up her spot and she is calm about it at first before losing it a little bit. Her hair is getting frizzier by the minutes as she sobs into Amanda’s arms, telling the rest of the women about what he said. Unusually, the women all come to her aid to tell her she’s great and whoever did that is a huge hooker. They eventually figure out that it was Leah and before they even get the chance to confront her, Leah is sneaking over to Ben’s house to attempt a Netflix and Chill sesh.

But Ben is having none of it and sees right through this ploy for attention. He’s gotten good at it by now with the whole Jubes situation. Leah is trying to tell him that she knows they could be something between them. Ben is not convinced.

Ben: Do you really feel something here? Like does this feel right to you?

Leah: Totes.

Ben: LOL k.

Grab your snacks, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time for the main event! Emily and Olivia are off to the 2-on-1 date which was, like, seven minutes, right? It felt so quick. There wasn’t even an activity planned LOL. It was like drive boat to this island, sit down on this blanket, send girl home. Both of Ben’s quick one-on-one chats were awkward and a little annoying. Olivia tells Ben that she’s really intellectual and deep and he nods questionably. The whole time she was talking I felt like she was trying so hard to sound polite and delicate with the things she was saying but it STILL came off as fake and contrived. She says she’s learned a lot about herself during this experience which sounds intellectual and good until Ben asked her exactly what she had learned. She doesn’t know because—shocking!—she hasn’t learned anything ever. She stumbles to find the words and then, POOF! “I love you!” Yikes.

Emily uses her time to show off her best Cousin It impression while speaking a mile a minute about all the things she wants to do with Ben like try green beans for the first time.

P.S. Just turn around and the wind won’t be an issue.

In the end, Ben pulls Olivia aside to tell her he’s not feeling it and all the while she is smiling and nodding because I don’t think she actually knew what he was saying. She didn’t throw a fit because the cameras were on her, but she sure did let out the tears. Even I felt bad that the girl as she stood in on the island as the cameras circled her dramatically. She’s probably still standing there now waiting for somebody to come pick her up.

Lauren H. went home at the rose ceremony and zero people were affected.

The preview for the rest of the season looks good. We’ve gotten rid of all of our villains this year so it’s time for the lovey part to begin. It seems that Ben is conflicted at the end between his final two ladies and has to call his mom to talk about it. I’m really fighting the urge to cheat this season and read spoilers about how it all plays out, but I’m trying to stay strong! Only a few weeks left. I think I can, I think I can....