Word on the street is that a close friendship between a guy and a girl is simply a predecessor for a relationship. I have found this to be true in my lifetime but not necessarily to be fact. For example, I just spent six amazing days with six amazing guys on vacation. All of them are attractive and wonderful in their own way, but the chance that any of them end up as the future Mr. Amanda Scarpa is slim. I know what you may be thinking: Are they all paraplegics with one eye and four teeth? To that I can give a solid no, and furthermore attest that all of them will make wonderful husbands one day. They just won't be mine.
Why is it that an overwhelming amount of people believe that a woman and a man cannot be platonic friends? I understand where the stigma comes from; there are many cases where a "friendship" is formed when one of the participants wants something more substantial but settles for friendship because it's better than nothing. In other cases, a friendship carries a sexual tension that is visible to anyone within twenty feet but never amounts to much more than an extended hug hello or goodbye. Maybe these tense situations are more prevalent, but there is that exceptional friendship that meerly consists of pajamas, junk food and tv watching.
I have several of these relationships in my life and I am extremely blessed to say so. Men offer a completely different perspective on life situations (usually less emotional, more concise versions) than women and are able to open my eyes to things that my estrogen may have been blocking. I know not to bring fashion questions or conversations about bodily fuctions to the man table (many of my guy friends still choose to believe that women don't/can't/won't poop), but when it comes to relationships, food and sports, guys have just as much to offer as women do.
So, we've learned that a male/female friendship can be extremely beneficial to all parties. Why, then, is it so impossible for some people to recognize that when we say we're going to watch a movie, we legitimatelly are going to watch the movie? My closest guy friend and I do lots of things together that could be considered couple-y because we're not in relationships. I hear it all the time from my friends: "You guys spend so much time together. I won't be surprised a year from now when you're engaged." Sorry to throw your wedding bells overboard, but we enjoy each others' company in a strictly separate-beds capacity. It bothers me that if my roommate and I snuggle and watch a movie it's viewed as cute but if a guy friend and I do it it's viewed as something more.
These thoughts about the double standard of opposite-sex friendship got me to thinking: are we only "friends" with people of the opposite sex who we don't find attractive? Depending on how close of a friendship you have, sometimes the only thing missing from making it into a full-fledged relationship is the physical component. Does that mean that all of my guy friends gross me out? Again, I give a firm no. I like to think that I have a pretty decent-looking group of friends; many are athletic, smart, funny and outgoing. But there's a huge difference between being able to acknowledge that someone is attractive and actually being attracted to them.
In summation, I'd like to say to people everywhere that men and woman can be friends without benefits and if you've never had a close friend of the opposite sex, you're missing out. Perhaps one day I'll have a close friend that turns into the cohost of my wedding, but for now I'm just happy to know that I'll have so many male friends cheering me on from the first pew.
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